Grit, Love, and Perseverance

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“To be loved and to love, equally have their challenges. To be loved, you have to know that you’re worthy of being loved for who you are and not what you do. You have to let go of the shame, let go of the past, and just be. To love, is where it gets really fun. To love, is to put yourself and your wants aside. To love, takes grit and perseverance to endure through every circumstance. I’ve been dating the man of my dreams for about a year now and I can honestly say that being in a relationship can be hard but to have someone who is truly with you, no matter what, is incomparable. In relationship, I’ve learned that I need to listen more, forgive quicker, be bolder, and grow in perseverance. Love is so incredibly amazing but it comes at a high cost. [For God, it was his only son. For Jesus, it was his life. For us, it’s our pride. I’ve come to the conclusion that to love fully, is to be more like Christ.]

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When I think of the word “love”, sacrifice and grit come to mind. We’re all familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient and love is kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 

When I read this, I see that love is not for the faint of heart. I see that love requires patience to bear with one another when it’s easy and when it’s hard. I see that love requires humility to lay one’s pride down, let go of wrongs and forgive. I see that love requires one to build up and edify others. I see that love is not a feeling and it won’t fix your problems. I see that love requires endurance to push through the hard conversations and the difficulties of life together. I see that love requires knowledge of the truth to have a firm foundation to stand on. I see that love requires faith to believe for the best when things seem impossible. I see that love requires hope to see the good qualities amongst the bad and choose that person anyway. Most of all, I see that love when given, is supposed to better the other person; and love when received, is supposed to better you. Love is one of the most selfless things that you can do and it’s a choice that you have to make everyday.”

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So you may be wondering, where does grit and perseverance come into this whole “love” thing? This is what I’ve learned. When two people choose each other, they choose each other’s good qualities, their quirks, and their faults. This sounds really good until you face a challenge together — this is where the grit comes in. When you face challenges as a couple, you have to persevere through them. When you face challenges in any relationship, you have to persevere through them. A challenge in your relationship, whatever the relationship may be, isn’t an indicator that something is wrong; it’s an opportunity to grow in patience, humility and other areas of your life. This doesn’t feel good all of the time but it is necessary for growth. I’ve done a lot of growing in my relationships and I can honestly say that (as cheesy as it sounds) I am a much better person because it. Blake is my biggest champion, he is always in my corner, and he constantly pushes me to be better. When we face challenges, from the smallest misunderstandings to bigger conflicts, he stays up to talk it through until we find resolve. When he is frustrated with me, he continues to stand by me — literally. When I’ve said something wrong, he doesn’t hold it against me. When I say that I’m sorry, he is so quick to forgive. He continuously pushes through every circumstance, good or bad, no matter what. He never gives up and never loses faith. Love is one of the most selfless things that you can do and it’s a choice that you have to make everyday.

Lucy Howard