It started with an innocent friendship. They spent time together. They texted all day every day. Those communications turned into phone calls. Hours and hours were spent learning the most intimate details of each others’ lives. Still innocent, right? Attraction grew and lines began to blur. Were they still friends or were they something more? Neither wanted to define this relationship, because it may ruin the “friendship”. So, they blurred lines until sin crept in. One hoped and prayed they would be together officially. The other sought relationship with someone else. Heartbreak quickly ensued, because one was attached and the other was not. This attachment was complicated.
Soul Ties. We hear about them a lot in the Christian community. What are they? Does the Bible speak to this or is it just “Christianese”?
Well, let’s start by defining soul and tie. The soul consists of the mind, will, and emotion of a person. The action verb tie means to attach or fasten (someone or something) with string or similar cord. The noun tie is a piece of string, cord, or the like used for fastening or tying something. Ok, now let’s put the two words together. A soul tie is when one’s mind, will, and emotions are bound to another person. Envision two hearts tied tightly together with rope and chain.
A soul tie is an attachment.
Most often, we hear this in the context of romantic relationships, but I believe soul ties can occur in other relationships such as friendships and familial relationships as well.
Godly Soul Ties
The Bible shows us that not all attachments are bad or unhealthy. Inherently, God is a relational being. He is three in one, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God is not alone and He does not want us to be alone. He desires that we be attached to certain people and in some instances, God, Himself, will attach people to one another.
“Now the LORD God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him--a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.”” - GENESIS 2:18 AMP
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” - Mark 10:7-9 NLT
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV
“God sets the lonely in families...” - Psalm 68:6 NIV
The Ultimate Soul Tie
We were created to be attached to God. In fact, the Bible suggests that we should be so closely tied to Christ that we should be a part of Him.
Remain in Me, and I [will remain] in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself without remaining in the vine, neither can you [bear fruit, producing evidence of your faith] unless you remain in Me. I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken off] branch, and withers and dies; and they gather such branches and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” - JOHN 15:4-6 AMP
Ungodly Soul Ties
On my bed night after night [I dreamed that] I sought the one Whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him. Scarcely had I passed them When I found him whom my soul loves. I held on to him and would not let him go Until I had brought him to my mother’s house, And into the chamber of her who conceived me. - SONG OF SOLOMON 3:1, 4 AMP
Today, if you find yourself in an ungodly soul tie, do not be discouraged. God still loves you and He still wants to be with you. He simply asks that you separate from anything that separates you from Him. In other words, He wants you to let go. Let them go. Why does God want you to let the person go? He wants you to let them go because sin separates us from Him.
It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore. - Isaiah 59:2 NLT
His desire is that you would love Him above any other person. Ungodly attachment quickly becomes a form of idolatry and God does not tolerate idolatry. You may ask, ”Ayanna, how can I separate myself from this person? I love them and they love me.” Or maybe you think you are too far gone, you have done too much, and there is no way God will want you.
I simply want to leave you with this truth. The Father loves you. Hope is available. In Jesus, we have one of the greatest gifts, repentance. Repentance is an opportunity to confess our wrongs to God and turn away from our sinful ways. Through repentance, we can be reconciled (reconnected) to God. And guess what? When we repent and return back to Him, He is waiting for us with open arms.
Yes, I am sure that NOTHING can separate us from God’s love—not death, life, angels, or ruling spirits. I am sure that nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us or nothing below us—nothing in the whole created world—will ever be able to separate us from the love God has shown us in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39 ERV
So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
BUT the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15: 20 – 24 NIV